If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
