Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
it hurts more in the daytime
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
