her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
