I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
