She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
