I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
