It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
