I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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