Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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