why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
