We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize