I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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