He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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