My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
