i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
