ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
