You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dignity is for republicans.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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