I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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