What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
