whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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