I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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