Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
worst night to have a conscience
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
