dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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