I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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