She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
