No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
