Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
