i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
and she was petting her beer can
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
