I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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