i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
