i would punch a child for taco bell
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
