Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize