i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
