I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
