Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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