I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The air taste purple.
Randomize
