Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
