Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
