party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
