its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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