she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Randomize
