this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
