Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
