Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
