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Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
