shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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