i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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