Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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