yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
why is half of my head shaved?
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