hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
