I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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