The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
