He kissed a someone with a penis
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
