Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize