um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
it was like eating out sand paper
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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