Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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