im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
