He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
