Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
